Day 1: May the Forks Be With You My husband,Tom, surprised me with a trip to the Pacific Northwest for my birthday.(I think he was looking for a remote location to bury my body.)В On Friday, we landed in Seattle and drove the scenic town of Port Angeles, Washington.
If you’ve never been to Port Angeles, then you have something in common with 99% of the rest of the world.It’s a small town on theВ Olympic Peninsulaand there’s NOTHING to do there (although I did take a jog in the hotel’s parking lot).But, this small town DOES have a claim to fame becauseВ scenes from a certain movie-series called «Twilight» were filmed there.В I hate «Twilight.» It’s a movie where Kristen Stewart stares vacantly, mouth agape, and shakes her head each time she speaks.It’s a film where the men sparkle and werewolves don’t wear shirts when they’re acting human.
(Scene where Kristin Stewart «acts» like she’s going to a movie.Quality stuff.)ANYWAY.There’s a scene in the movie where Bella (Kristen the Head Shaker) goes to a movie.THATВ theater is in Port Angeles.В We paid $10 each forВ tickets to sit inВ a theater was laughably old.В I kept waiting for someone to take their place at a piano next to the stage.Although my husband is celebrity-obsessed (to clinically alarming levels), he didn’t take me to Port Angeles forВ «Twilight» memorabilia (it’s also 50 miles from Forks, WA, home of Bella the Wannabee Vampire).
He brought me to Port Angeles because there’s a ferry that runs to Victoria, British Columbia.That’s in Canada for the geographically impaired.Which brings me to Day 2.
Day 2: Don’t Pick the FlowersI don’t think the sun sets in Washington because when we got up WAY TOO EARLY to head to the ferry, the sun was already on its third cup of coffeebecause EVERYONE in Washington drinks coffee.Even the pets.
We hopped on the ferry and voila (that’s French for «floated across the water»), we were in the beautiful city of Victoria.A tour guide named Mike drove us to the Butchart Gardens while regaling us with boring details about the area (i.e.median income, demographics, cost of gasand his opinion as to why gas prices are so high).
My hubbieВ took me to the gardens to show me what REAL gardeners can do with plants.I’ve been known to kill everything within a five-acre radius of my yardincluding rocks, asphalt and neighbor’s trees.But the gardens at this place were gorgeous!
Did I mention that my husband couldn’t walk because, the night before we left, our crazy-a*s dog took out his knee?So Tom’s hobbling along, walking like he’s 80 years old.It wasВ truly aВ »slow down and smell the roses» kind of day.
AfterВ returning to Port Angeles, we drove to Seattle where I ate my weight in salmon and sourdough bread.And then ate Tom’s weight in pound cake and Washington cherries.Tom rolled me to the car and we drove to a quaint little ex-convent to spend the night.
Now let me в
